I have too much time on my hands.
I sense a chorus of annoyed grunts from my nonexistent readership, but it’s true. There are few things more damaging to productivity than being able to do whatever the hell you want at any given time. This is especially true if you’re creative, crazy, or easily distracted. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I’m doomed.
Oh, I’m trying to do the responsible thing and not just make excuses to sit around eating cereal and watching Olympics recap GIFs all day. In fact, I’ve been fairly successful at limiting those activities to only a couple of hours per day thus far.
Current plan of attack for a Productive Lifestyle™:
– List five tasks a day on my to-do list. These will be a mixture of work, chores, and personal enrichment. Five tasks is enough for me to feel that I’ve accomplished something with my day, while not causing me to dissolve into quivering panic attacks at the prospect of facing the world at large.
– Do the tasks.
– Alternately, do some of the tasks and then start yelling at the Internet. The entire Internet. Without exception.
– Take a nap!
The problem with self-directing like this is that you tend to end up in something of a bubble. At least, that’s how it seems to work in my case. I did get out of the apartment this afternoon to do some work at a coffee shop for a few hours, but even then, I was listening to NPR and ignoring my surroundings until my headphones started shocking me in the right ear. At this point, I found myself trying not to throttle the wedding planner sitting next to me who had been loudly discussing cocktail napkins or some bullshit on her cell phone for an hour straight. As a writer, though, I appreciated the material for a potential future character. I was mentally taking notes on her brusque personality and the strange younger man outside the window that she would occasionally consult with, even as my nerves slowly frayed at her raised volume and limited decorum and utter lack of self-awareness and ohmygod SHUT UP SHUT UP.
It’s important for me to be putting myself out in different situations, because it’s just not possible to write in a vacuum. (Despite what my teenage self would have had you believe, the Internet isn’t sufficient material in and of itself, though I’ve gotten more than my fair share of inspiration from it.) There is life outside my apartment, to quote Avenue Q, and I intend to find it. I reserve my right to then run away screaming obscenities, of course.
New plan of attack for an Interesting Lifestyle™:
– Have adventures. Calvin and Hobbes would approve, and after all, they were the inspiration for this blog’s name. Adventures tend to make for more interesting blog fodder than Olympics GIFs anyway. (But seriously, McKayla won’t be impressed with anything I write, so why bother?)
Of course, these two plans will probably have to be balanced against each other if I want to eat, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.